Fate is cruel…or not

Two of my closest friends in the office are planning to resign at out office to explore more opportunities in the outside world. Ok, to tell you the truth, they were the ones that I’m referring to on my previous blog post… I was pissed off by their attitude towards work and all… 

Well to tell you frankly I hate to see them go, despite  the shitty things that they did (me included) and it was so much fun having them around, even if it means annoying gossip rant sessions here and there… 

So last sunday I went to mass and pray that everything  will be alright for me as that dreadful day comes. I asked God for protection, spiritual strengh, guidance and emotional stability (I need that for some reasons) and may this dreadful things may pass quickly.

A few hours back, I checked my email for some updates on my sideline. There’s this one that caught my attention, and I passed my resume and all…and an instant reply came… and after a few replies I was accepted to the position. I was happy but I decided to get another one, for the pay was very low (but I never complain!)oh well…at least I had another reason to stay up late and use my laptop for a number of hours… 

 Fate is cruel… and can be not cruel… the blessings are more than I asked for. Thanks! <3

Conflict

As much as I want to keep quiet about everything that happens around me, I just can’t force myself to shut up and not to react. And also, I’m not in the mood to rant about everything about love, so don’t bother asking why…

It’s been weeks (or months maybe) since some of my close friends here in the office has a “silent” arguement, and frankly speaking, I find it a bit childish to me, arguing over nothing but useless shit. Their attitude were quite contradicting actually, one of them is straightforward, responsible and really can speak her mind. The other is quite childish, aloof and quite eccentric, well maybe because of the hardships she experienced. Both loved anime and came from one of the reputable schools here, and they’ve been together since college.

Even though I came from one of the schools in University Belt, they make me feel welcome, and those two helped me to adjust while i’m still new here.

And now it was a shock to see them both… and everytime we had our lunch at the pantry we could feel the invinsible barrier between the two. Their blog post contains their latest rants about each other…The mere thing annoys me and I as much as possible I don’t want to intererfere to their problems.

 But such arguement needs to stop. it’s getting in my nerves and not only did their daily set of rants are seen by many, the people reading their useless rants are affected by it, and that includes their closest friends. (myself included)

The conflict needs to be stop, before it’s too late. God help me.

Me as an optimist sans pessimist

Last night, I hade a blog post for my sideline and I chose to post something about having a new attitude with the help of self hypnosis. I made a research on the topic and there’s one thing that struck me: 

I’m not that optimistic anymore.

 I’ve been down lately, always telling myself that it’s just me being single and lonely, having only the family and friends to keep me going… but no, it’s about some of my friends who wants everyone to drag them to their level. 

I was once admired by my optimistic view in life and love. And even though I went through three failed relationships I managed to move on and be positive about everything, that I will find that special person who will love me as I am… and I can get everything that I want with the right mind set on to something… 

But as I said earlier, there are some who wants to drag me down, and sad to say that these people are the closest to me…. their pessimistic view on work and love makes me want to lose all hope…

It’s always been like this… and it irritates me A LOT.  I’ve been stressed lately and as much as I want to calm myself from everything I’ve been through their everyday comments makes me feel so down more than I used to be…

 Before I went into deep slumber, I cried for the sudden realization that I had changed into a monster. It’s the worst that I’ve been through right now, and I want OUT… I prayed, hoping that these will end soon. I still had high hopes for the future and having these kind of people around me is a big hindrance to what I want to become. 

Hope this nightmare will soon be over.  

Enough of the negative vibes

Later did I know that I was sick, stressed out and tired… no not from work, I love my job and the people that surrounds me…

But I think I overdid myself… literally. 

These past few months I had failed and tried everything to do the things that I want without any falter. Yes, I attended the weekly choir rehearsals by heart, I blog on a regular basis (even blog for my sideline)  and being early. Andalso, I had high hopes for my new immediate boss (Paolo) so there’s no problem with  that. 

… until negative vibes came along the way. 

As much as I want to seperate the family’s financial woes and office related matters, there are some people who keeps on yanking about everything…in a negative way. Even cursing the work along the way. I know that the work keeps on getting tougher along the way but I know that its purpose is to have a quality on what we are doing. For a SEO  specialist like me, we need to improve on linkbuilding and thinks of improving on the site that we are handling. Work on our part may be tough but it’s our job and I fel in love for what we are doing. I just don’t know why there are some people who keeps on cursing everything that surrounds *that person* and it’s getting in my nerves. I also told *this person* to apply for a different position in our humble office but *this person*told me that even our supervisor won’t recommend *him/her*.

I love this person for all my heart but this person’s pessimistic attitude hits me big time, and I hated it this much… 

So pls go away you negative vibes, you’re getting in my nerves. Please leave me in peace. Amen.

It’s been a year…

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/gma/20090620/tph-mass-burial-set-for-unclaimed-bodies-ce44f36.html

 Yes it’s been a year since fellow schoolmate and COMSSO officer Grace Nadela passed away on the day the MV Princess of the Stars capsized… and I missed her soft voice and her cutesy childish behavior. 

Last night after I made a blog post for my client, I felt her pressence somewhere… and she was crying, I can feel that she’s sad and lonely, I hugged her and told her not to worry and be strong, and also told her to guide her family, friends and loved ones to guide them in whatever turmoil they were having. I also thank her for making a quit “visit” on me, and I really appreciate me… even though it freaks me out a little. 

I was crying too at that time, because I’ve been missing her dearly. I also missed my surrogate older brother who passed away years ago… it was them who touched everyone’s hearts by a simple gesture of kindness, wit and humor. My happy moments with them will be always remembered… 

will be missing you both. :’( 

(***just found out that it was Kuya Arlan’s birthday last night, and I know that he’s happy right now. Sleep well dear kuya and happy birthday. )