Thank you for the music <3

Waking up at 5:00. Shower. Going to the office. Cheking corp mails. Link Building. Writing blogs. Research on SEO updates. Going home. Dinner. Rehearsals. Going home. Checking Facebook. Sleep.

Yes, my daily ritual starts from 5:00-ish in the morning and end s in 1:00-ish in the mid-morning. And with barely four hours of sleep I managed to do the things in order. And I think it’s a miracle that I survived each and every single day. Yes, even my weekends are occupied and sad thing is that I can’t do anything about it. 

But the real miracle in this endless cycle is that I enjoyed everything that I do. I like to do some SEO stuff and to learn more about the craft. And as a Junior SEO Specialist, I researched, link build, write, optimize the sites that im handling and with God’s help, I managed to finish the task in the nick of time. 

And apart from the everyday routine, my other  “job” as a chorister is, a bit tiresome because of the complicated contemporary songs that we usually practiced and also because of the late night rehearsals that are scheduled, but what I liked about the rehearsals itself is the fun that I’m having whenever we’re singing in unison. The harmony we’re making, the soft flow of our voices blended together in a song filled with love. It is indeed a tiresome art, but all this will fade as we sing the songs in public. Being appreciated and applauded by the audience is heartwarming, and the feeling of singing the song with all my heart… is simply diving. 

Music has saved me from everything chaotic in this world. And despite the gruesome and tiring schedule that I had right now, the love for the craft helped me doing things that I really loved to do, and it defines me as a person that I am today. and I am thankful for that. <3

Lessons on change

I think I changed. 

 After my closest friends left me here in the office for greener (or rather LESS greener pastures), I decided not to be like them. After everything that they have done during their stay here in USAP, I realised that I’m becoming an irresponsible, dense employee that every employer would hate. I admit that I’ve always arrives late here in the office, but after receiving a warning note from my supervisor, I decided to change for the better. 

I want to be with my friends that has a positive attitiude in everything, for they give me enough courage to do the impossible. I know my limits, but I see to it that I can break the barrier and do something new and to extend my own limits to the extreme. I think I became more responsible for my own actions, and by doing so, I managed to balance my current full time work to my part time work and my almost-late-night choral  practices.

And because of this, there are some people who always yanks about everything. Ok, this person’s a HE, and he’s older than me. yes, he has this spunky personality. But his emo personality, pessimistic views about his life and uberly childish attitude pissed me off. not only did he always tells something bad about his health and all the negative things about his life, he always pm-ed me during work hours where i’m supposedly working. This person never understands the life around me, and I don’t think messaging me every other minute is a GOOD thing while inside office premises. And as much as I don’t want to RANT about this person, this sudden hatred for him is simply eternal. 

And BTW, he’s now in my hate list.

 And today,some of my officemates noticed the change. My immediate boss likes the change that im now going through. Even some of my comrades noticed it and appreciate it. But there are some that are, I think, makes them worried. I explained it to them and they seemed to understand that. 

And sadly, there are some who don’t understand a thing. It was a sad on my part, considering the fact that they were my closest allies… 

Do you think change is a good thing or a bad thing?

I hope and I pray that they would understand everything that I’m doing right now.  

 XOXO, Cristal 

Reflections

I was reading my centuries-year-old friendster blog and it bought back some of the most cherished memories that I had. It was my virtual rant space from 2005 to 2008, and as I was reading it, I laughed, cried, rejoiced and embarrased, primarily because of the emotions that I put everytime I posted something.

 I documented everything from seeing my crush passed by during my college days, rants about my final requirements that I need to do during my final years in college, my first “official” love and the anger of this certain lesbian gay hag and the previous company that I previously employed. 

I realized that I do changed a lot during that time. The immaturity is clearly seen on every post, until the last of my blog post.

And now that I’m in here in USAP, I continued to change for the better.

I still tend to be tardy (as usual, the office that I’m in is much farther than the previous one) I want to have my personal space and as much as possible be more responsible in every task that I’m in… wether it is for work purposes, or for  some of my sidelines that i’ve taken. Also mentioned here is the commitments in Coro and some others.

Some may not understand the changes that I need to do in order to get it done, and it makes me think of how immature they really are… some may think that every decision that i’m in is a wrong one. But little do they know that I tend to think twice…twice…or many times before i push through with something… 

I also realized that it’s been years since I’ve been in a relationship, and confusion occurs when i think about this. I came to the conclusion that love can be a one-sided thing, an unfair feeling and something of a douchebag at the same time. But that doesnt mean that i’ve already given up on love… for now I need to face the fact that love will come someday at the right place and at the right time. I just have to wait and face a million douchebags before meeting the person who will love me forever despite my failures and stupidity.

 So there.