Current LSS

Ihip ng Hangin (from Philippine Madrigal Singers)

may binubulong ang ihip ng hangin
may sinasabing napakalambing
habang naglalakad sa tabi ng dagat
ang alon mo’y binubulong ng ihip ng hangin.

wala ka man saking piling
nadarama ko pa rin pag ibig mo
nadarama pa rin
sa ihip ng hangin  

The  song itself says it all, as I keep missing him for the longest time. That even if we’re both in our own worlds as our own corporate slaves I still miss his irresistable smile and wit, also his care and dedication to everything he does, including the music that we both shared. 

I love each and everything that you do, D.

(I hope this feeling will be shared by you… <3) 

Longing…

There are times that even though i’m surrounded by my friends I felt that I was all alone and at lost. IDK why but there’s this feeling that I want to be special for that certain someone. no, I;m not referring to my friends for I don’t want any nessesary special treatments for them but to the certain someone that I’m longing for. All I ever wanted is to be loved by a person that will take me as long as I live. 

I was born independent, and I was already accustomed to be at myself most of the time. This made me feel that I do everything within my reach and This made me realized that I don’t want to be dependent to everyone around, including my immediate family. 

And this is that reason why I broke up with my first boyfriend. And I never regret breaking up with him. I continue to do everything that I love while he’s impregnating someone and continue to be more miserable than before.

Im now twenty six of age and i’m not becoming any younger. Things changed around me and so is my closest circle of friends. Some still wants to be stuck in their pedestal and some wants everyone around to go down, but me as an independent individual managed to get lose and not to go to their level. As much as posible I want to have fun while reaching the prime years in my life and I don’t want to stuck on the low level. I just hope that they will grow up and continue grow in an intellectual pace, to stop being immature, be more open minded and to open their doors to see everything in a different light. 

Right now I’m happy with my close friends, officemates and choirmates. But I’m sad for there’s something missing.

It is something that Is bothering me all this time.

As I look at some couples holding hands, whispering sweet nothings and always together in some places I felt like I want to have somebody at my side doing the same and being taken care of. I may have someone in mind but I don’t think that it will take notice. A childish person that I am, I tend to make friends with this person than to feel shy while having him at my side. 

For being with him is heaven on earth.

But having him as my special someone is wishful thinking.

Asa ka pa Cristal, asa ka pa. </3 

Product of boredom

Seriously, I can’t think of anything else to write. I’m not even in the mood for doing some work related stuff. maybe it wasnt my day after all. everything went black as i stare at the monitor, and even if im writing this post, everything I see is much more of the blue screen of death (on my computer monitor) only in white. 

Series of events happened and it actually pisses me off. A friend of mine also told me that im now an emo person because of the status messages that they’ve seen in my social media accounts in friendster, facebook, plurk and twitter. i dont want any disagreements because of this, and im really sorry that it becomes a hassle for them reading each and every single emo /wrist wall post, it wont happen again.

But shit happens, and we all felt the same when someone pisses you off. the recent thing that made me mad is one of my former choirmates ranting because of me writing a blog post about her on my wordpress blog (I havent written everything against her on the blog, well except here.) And as much as I want to reply on her message I disregard it and take it as a minor misunderstanding. i.ph is now wordpress, THIS is my personal rant blog while my other blog is a choral news (not rant) blog.

One thing I realized these past few days after most of my choirmates left is that im still here. I was thinking to myself why, what’s the use of being in here while others are gone for good? Methinks God is just around the corner at that time, 3 of my close friends (co-sopranos) managed to be there, making us a solid group. It was a blessing not just for me but for the choir group that im in. being a soprano makes us important, for our voice makes all the melodies in a song, and also sopranos are the ones who moves the entire choir, making us the most powerful of all voices. but let’s not forget the Tenors, Altos and basses who are there to create the melody led by us Sopranos, for they are important as well. 

Work, however is becoming boring as always. but it’s a good thing everything went well. I think we still had our hangovers from the Christmas vacation that we long for some longer days of relaxation and fun. and right now summer comes near, and we are now planning to have a company outing as early as now.

And because of this, it makes us more lazy, LOL.

Also hoping to make it to the rehearsal of the former choir that im in (UE chorale). One of my friends in the choir emailed me and asked me to be part of the group that is mostly alumnis, and Im seriously excited about it. i had tons of memories from the day I joined the group. And though im not as good as my fellow sopranos in the chorale group, but the experience that I had with them is really worthwhile. 

And so this is it. I hope readers who drop by here would like this entry. till then. 

<3,

~Cristal 

And the personal photoblog starts here

I just bought a  4-month-old Sony Ericsson C702 from a friend/closest sempai/secret crush just now, and before I toss the Nokia 1110, I need to save my contacts, for they are saved on the phone memory.

I’m now excited yo yake some pictures and start photoblogging! yipee!!!!! ^_____________^

Goodbye Nokia 1110, I was fun to have you for the past [__] years, but it’s 2010 and I need to have something “new” and useful…teehee…

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

**I just realized that there are some people who thought I was plastic, just because I rant everything in here.  A blog forms as an online journal, and this personal blog contains more of the emotions that I can’t really express to everyone. For the record, I don’t pretend to be sweet to someone I really hate… 

Just a message for you: And I really don’t hate you. I can’t be pretentious to everyone. I can say anything what my mind says so.  I was just pissed off by your actions.  And I don’t blame your boyfriend (nee hubby) for what you did. It’s your life anyway.

For the record, I’m not the only one who thinks that you let us down.

And I can be brutally frank sometimes. Especially in here. 

And I really mean what I said. 

(And brfore I forgot, I never mentioned anything against you in my wordpress blog.)

And one more thing, if you can’t handle everything what I just said here in my blog, then click alt+f4, ctrl+alt+del, or ctrl+w . 

As simple as that. 

If you could just realize… I’m disappointed by you…

What to do if a friend fails you just because of him/her being unreasonable?

Really, I was in rage just by now.

Was pissed off because a friend of mine cancelled some plans in a jiffy, just because tinatamad lang siya.

And though I may look cool whenever im about to be talked about that thing but deep inside, I was sooo angry and pissed because of what happened. Added to the extreme rage that im having is her not taking it seriously, instead adding some joke about it, and her asking me to treat her to a fast food. 

I know it’s pay day but WHO WOULD WANT TO TREAT SOMEONE WHO MANAGED TO CANCEL SOME PLANS IN AN INSTANT?

It came as a suprise when there are things that are already planned when the certain person unexpectedly cancelled everything just because of some reasons that I really find unbearable, without thinking of the other that has made an effort to make the plan worked…

 if only they realized that we’re all yuppies, living and breathing in the corporate world. And the only way to ease the pain of seeing the four corridors of our office is to break free and unwind in every way that we can…

Seems like Pensionados didnt realized the pain that im going through…

For they never realized how much im stressed, tired and fucked up I really am…

(update: and after I wrote this post on notepad, I received another hate letter from a former choirmate tru facebook, geez get a life ok? ok, I think I need to explain on her…)