Anatole France
Longing…
January 26, 2010
There are times that even though i’m surrounded by my friends I felt that I was all alone and at lost. IDK why but there’s this feeling that I want to be special for that certain someone. no, I;m not referring to my friends for I don’t want any nessesary special treatments for them but to the certain someone that I’m longing for. All I ever wanted is to be loved by a person that will take me as long as I live.
I was born independent, and I was already accustomed to be at myself most of the time. This made me feel that I do everything within my reach and This made me realized that I don’t want to be dependent to everyone around, including my immediate family.
And this is that reason why I broke up with my first boyfriend. And I never regret breaking up with him. I continue to do everything that I love while he’s impregnating someone and continue to be more miserable than before.
Im now twenty six of age and i’m not becoming any younger. Things changed around me and so is my closest circle of friends. Some still wants to be stuck in their pedestal and some wants everyone around to go down, but me as an independent individual managed to get lose and not to go to their level. As much as posible I want to have fun while reaching the prime years in my life and I don’t want to stuck on the low level. I just hope that they will grow up and continue grow in an intellectual pace, to stop being immature, be more open minded and to open their doors to see everything in a different light.
Right now I’m happy with my close friends, officemates and choirmates. But I’m sad for there’s something missing.
It is something that Is bothering me all this time.
As I look at some couples holding hands, whispering sweet nothings and always together in some places I felt like I want to have somebody at my side doing the same and being taken care of. I may have someone in mind but I don’t think that it will take notice. A childish person that I am, I tend to make friends with this person than to feel shy while having him at my side.
For being with him is heaven on earth.
But having him as my special someone is wishful thinking.
Asa ka pa Cristal, asa ka pa. </3
