Currently searching…

*warning, this is not another mushy post, lol!*

A friend of mine told me to add this facebook group (ESPS Batch 2000-2001) and saw my long lost high school classmates. I was suprised of they had become right now…

 Most of them became successful in their respective careers, and some are already tied down and had their own families. I was also happy that they accepted my friend request and even remember me as one of their classmates on the last two years of high school. For me, it was one of the best I’ve ever been. 

To be frank, I never felt happy when I was in high school, esp. when I was still a freshman. majority of my classmates came from upper-class families and most of them I think were really cool, while I am not as priveledged as they were.

On my sophomore year, sickness strikes, financial woes increased and I even flunked on math. So I decided to stop school in order to minimize financial woes and also to recover myself from sickness.

and after a year of being left out, I enrolled again. This time, with new classmates, new teachers and new shoes to fill in. School has been a breeze since then. And I never felt happier.

And now I’m happy that after all these years this giddy feeling is still there.

Hope that the former batch will still add me on my FB account.  

A letter to you

Dear __________, 

 I had this urge to write about this current crisis that you’re facing right now. 

And I’m sorry to say this, but after sending your link to your blog, I kept reading it every now and then. I may look like an online stalker but I can sense that every post is a honest-to-goodness post that is really worth reading.

Shall I say, that I really feel for you, that it really hurts a lot not to be chosen by the girl you love, that she chose the other guy from you… and yes, at this time it’s better if you leave everything in God’s grace. For only He can save you from the hurt…

I may sound stupid but after telling me your feelings for me I saved the entire chat log and… WHY DID I SAVE THAT LOG?! maybe you could be the one who could save my heart from pain… I can’t say that it was really you that I was looking for for a very long time… but as you’ve said on your blog that you’ll wait for her within two weeks… pls do take notice of that. I know that you want to move on, to make your life as normal as possible, as if she never existed…

And I will give you enough time to access your feelings for us…  (me and her)

I’m just being careful. I just can’t give my heart to anyone just easily. I know how it feels like being hurt and I don’t want us to be in bad terms in the end.  

Will wait for you soon…

~ c 

Just a random thought…

- I hate people who just rely on others and not on their own strength.

-I hate those who think of everything in a negative/pessimistic way.

-I hate people who spreads NVs on others.

-I hope that everyone would cooperate, esp. those who were now veterans in our field.

-I would definitely love it if I had a raise.

-I need money to pay for all our financial woes.

-I would like to work in a company where I could do the things that I really like the most.

-I hope that God has an IM or an email (at least) so that I may able to communicate with Him interactively (I just hope that the internet connection is fast!) 

-I long to be love and be loved.

-will you be the answer to my long-forgotten prayer?

-I’m craving for something…fresh fruit or  some food perhaps?

-I  miss drawing.

-I miss YOU.