Disappointment

Pissed girl is pissed.

 As I went to the usual late-night rehearsals at Kuya Diomel’s place, I saw two of my closest choirmates and told me that one of my fellow Sopranos can’t make it to the supposedly choral competition in Imus, Cavite. And because of this,Our choir can’t make it to the said competition for good.

Her  reason? her boyfriend doesnt want her to be part of the said competition. 

Words can’t express the feeling that I’m having right now, I just can’t accept her reason of not joining the group. I already know the fact that she doesnt want to be part of the group but her decision to back out just days before the competition is just so absurd. 

We all know that after she graduated from college he’s having a hard time from her work and her commitment in our choir. And as one of the most admired  sopranos in the group, her role as one of the elder Sops is as great as those of our conductor. 

And I can tell that she loves to sing with our group.

Was it her decision to leave the group for good? or is it her boyfriend who’s controlling her?

For God’s sake she’s not a doll to be manipulated with. They were not even married, or engaged, whatsoever.  

Weeks before the competition, we tried to contact her for one of our fellow Sopranos can’t also make it due to her work schedule. (She’s working in a call center) So she’ our only hope in order to be part of the competition. Our elders, including our conductor,tried to reach for her but she said that she’ll try… 

But no luck.

Because of what she did she pissed off many of our choirmates who are looking forward to the said competition. 

As part of the Soprano group, I was disappointed/pissed off/irritated/angry at her…

>:( 

<3!!! (A story of being in love with a geek)

(Yoshiyuki Terada and Rika Sasaki from Cardcaptor Sakura, prime example of May - December affair, lol! *just kidding!*)

Call me crazy but I really like intelligent guys, well more of a geek actually. I don’t care if this guy is way too old for me or this guy is like a father figure or what, as long as we’re on the same step and we jive in it then I will give it a go.

Yes I had fallen in love with a guy who was WAY TOO OLD for me, he’s actually my mathematics teacher when I was still in college and though he failed in the looks section, I still like the way he smiles at me and I like the way we talked about everything, it is as if we known each other for so long.

And yes, what we’re having is a “May-December affair”, he’s a bit older  than me. (Pls don’t get me wrong,  I’m no cheapskate, and I truly fell for this person, and FYI, I’m not looking for a “Sugar Daddy”, I’m just a girl looking for love, and I’m getting corny, LOL!)

But things went out of our way and went on our separate ways. And now I’m a struggling SEO specialist sans chorister and he, a wonderful professor, now proud to finish his masters in his chosen field.

And now, I’m repeating the “same mistake” again. And it is with a professor again who is _ years older than me, and Who is also teaching mathematics, and though he also fails in the looks section, I like the way he looks at me and smiles…

And also, we’re singing in the same tune…

Will we be creating a lovely melody in the near future? or will I cry for such a sad requiem? (we will never know!)

(And what’s with mathematics professors who were once engineers anyway? pfft!)

Finally!

(The picture that I posted today really helps, seriously!)

I’m thankful that I’m still here in USAP after days (or months) of struggle. 

It was on the first day of the last month of the year, when I achieved something here in the office. And i’m very thankful for everyone who helped me and inspire me to be at my very best despite the struggles and hardships that I had experienced during the months of turmoil.

I think motivation is the key. Having the right attitude on everything makes me do the things that I really love to do. And that’s why I was able to do my full time work, my sideline during free time and attending choir rehearsals in the evening. And oh I forgot, to update my cafe in the Cafe World (on Facebook, lol!) after I got home from rehearsals. 

And in addition to that, I always told myself that “with God’s help, I can do it”. I see to it that God is there for me, that  I can do everything with the power of our Creator. Having strong faith with Him and in my capabilities helps me to do more. For HE is my strength and my shield. 

I just hope that this is the last of it.  I hoe that I can able to continue my winning streak until the time comes… 

And I will do much better next time!  

 XOXO, Cristal <3

Thank you for the music <3

Waking up at 5:00. Shower. Going to the office. Cheking corp mails. Link Building. Writing blogs. Research on SEO updates. Going home. Dinner. Rehearsals. Going home. Checking Facebook. Sleep.

Yes, my daily ritual starts from 5:00-ish in the morning and end s in 1:00-ish in the mid-morning. And with barely four hours of sleep I managed to do the things in order. And I think it’s a miracle that I survived each and every single day. Yes, even my weekends are occupied and sad thing is that I can’t do anything about it. 

But the real miracle in this endless cycle is that I enjoyed everything that I do. I like to do some SEO stuff and to learn more about the craft. And as a Junior SEO Specialist, I researched, link build, write, optimize the sites that im handling and with God’s help, I managed to finish the task in the nick of time. 

And apart from the everyday routine, my other  “job” as a chorister is, a bit tiresome because of the complicated contemporary songs that we usually practiced and also because of the late night rehearsals that are scheduled, but what I liked about the rehearsals itself is the fun that I’m having whenever we’re singing in unison. The harmony we’re making, the soft flow of our voices blended together in a song filled with love. It is indeed a tiresome art, but all this will fade as we sing the songs in public. Being appreciated and applauded by the audience is heartwarming, and the feeling of singing the song with all my heart… is simply diving. 

Music has saved me from everything chaotic in this world. And despite the gruesome and tiring schedule that I had right now, the love for the craft helped me doing things that I really loved to do, and it defines me as a person that I am today. and I am thankful for that. <3

Lessons on change

I think I changed. 

 After my closest friends left me here in the office for greener (or rather LESS greener pastures), I decided not to be like them. After everything that they have done during their stay here in USAP, I realised that I’m becoming an irresponsible, dense employee that every employer would hate. I admit that I’ve always arrives late here in the office, but after receiving a warning note from my supervisor, I decided to change for the better. 

I want to be with my friends that has a positive attitiude in everything, for they give me enough courage to do the impossible. I know my limits, but I see to it that I can break the barrier and do something new and to extend my own limits to the extreme. I think I became more responsible for my own actions, and by doing so, I managed to balance my current full time work to my part time work and my almost-late-night choral  practices.

And because of this, there are some people who always yanks about everything. Ok, this person’s a HE, and he’s older than me. yes, he has this spunky personality. But his emo personality, pessimistic views about his life and uberly childish attitude pissed me off. not only did he always tells something bad about his health and all the negative things about his life, he always pm-ed me during work hours where i’m supposedly working. This person never understands the life around me, and I don’t think messaging me every other minute is a GOOD thing while inside office premises. And as much as I don’t want to RANT about this person, this sudden hatred for him is simply eternal. 

And BTW, he’s now in my hate list.

 And today,some of my officemates noticed the change. My immediate boss likes the change that im now going through. Even some of my comrades noticed it and appreciate it. But there are some that are, I think, makes them worried. I explained it to them and they seemed to understand that. 

And sadly, there are some who don’t understand a thing. It was a sad on my part, considering the fact that they were my closest allies… 

Do you think change is a good thing or a bad thing?

I hope and I pray that they would understand everything that I’m doing right now.  

 XOXO, Cristal