Anatole France
Enough
May 6, 2010After weeks of courting/deliberating/arguing/blah, I decided to call it quits.
What made me decided to stop is the last conversation that we had through IM.
We had this exchange of sweet nothings, since he’s just upstairs, doing his daily work routine. I almost arrived late at work, and next thing Iknew is he’s gonna lambast his seriousnes in courting me…
And then I said to myself, “I had enough of this”.
The truth is that, other from our daily exchange of sweet musing, we had our set of daily arguements as well. His attitude of being matampuhin seems so immature for a 27 year old guy who has 3 chldren from his previous relationship.
The last thing he said was the last straw.
One thing I also realized is the daily exhange of arguements that we had. I decided to call it quits because it’s not healthy to have a daily exchange of verbal arguements. The last of it is the worst I’ve ever heard.
A realization struck me: since we were now having these series of arguements what if we were already in a relationship? I bet it will get worse.
This made me want to stop this courtship.
I may forgive him for what he did but that doesnt mean that I’ll continue with this scenario.
I’m trying to save ourselves from hurting each other. I hope he understands that.
Much better if we’re only friends and nothing more than that.
My personal thoughts on the upcoming Madz Et Al 2010
April 30, 2010
It’s roughly a week before the MADZ Et Al choral festival and I’ve never been so excited, and nervous at the same time. Excited because once again, our choir is back on stage to perform to the public. Nervous because of the lineup of songs, the lineup of singers in our group (since most of us were newbies) and we just found out that we’re singing the same song with one of the Et Al choirs that will perform on the same day. *sigh*
Since I was assigned as the section head in the choir, I tried my best to unite the group, esp. the sopranos. As you can see, singing the soprano part is a cruicial thing, since most of the songs are being led by us. And the pressure has been on ME, and not on my fellow voice-mates.
But even though I’m nervous about this event, still I’m excited about this… I love the feeling of performing on stage with my fellow choirmates. The harmony that we have during the performance is just magical and the appreciation of the people watching us on stage is just great!
Hope and pray that our performance will be appreciated by the MADZ (Philippine Madrigal Singers), the Et Al choirs and the people who will came to watch us and other choirs perform. I’m sure that it will be a blast! 
Of heartaches, shocking truths and acceptance
April 27, 2010Yesterday I had a heart to heart talk with my buddy after a mind-blowing game of billards at USAP sportsfest. Yes it was a happy moment, and I couldnt agree more that being with him is one helluva ride.
But as we had our zesty merienda treat at one of the major malls in Mandaluyong, we unravel the age-old pages of our heartbreak stories…after I told him the series of heartache stories from my previous beaus, his was even worse.
It breaks my heart to hear the entire truth. Still I couldnt believe everything that he had said. My heart pangs as I hear every nook and crany that he had said, I was thinking, Lord, pls tell me that everything that he had said is a lie. But it was not.
I was speechless after everything that he had revealed.My mind went blank. I want to run away, curse him like crazy. But I was just there, listening to every word that he had said. Broken, torn and almost into tears. And as I looked at him I can sense that it mustve been hard for him to tell me this…
But come to think of it, it takes guts for a man to tell everything to the girl he cherished the most the real truth about himself.
I do admire his honesty and sincerity , I give him credit to that.
And now, as I type this entry, I’m still thinking if he deserves to have my heart. After all this years, I’m still thinking if I deserve a man like him. I’m praying not for signs, but for guidance. That may God help us both in our journeys to come.
I do love him so despite our differences. But then again…
I’m still afraid to take the plunge…
May God help us both.
Ironic (pt. 2)
April 22, 2010It breaks my heart to tell the one you loved the most that we can’t be together because of our religious preference.
As you can see, I’ve been there before. Religious conflicts has been a major issue for me (during my previous relationship) before and even had a major arguement with one of his family members. This however, has ruined our affair. We are both serving God through our talents, and this issue in a relationship is a big deal…
Until now.
We both loved each other but it breaks my heart to tell you everything.
Thank you for the encouragement, the endearment, the YM conversations (that i still kept in my archives), and the smile that makes my heart melt. You made me feel loved even if it is for a while…
I’m sorry to break your heart. I also had a hard time to tell you this and I need to tell you this because I loved you, and I don’t want to be a burden to you…Also, ayokong paasahin ka…
I’m so sorry my dear. I really am.
*seriously needs tissues right nao…sniff!*
~Cristal
Ironic
i wonder how it feels to spend an entire lifetime with you
doing the things that pretty much sum up a normal existence:
coffee mornings,
lazy afternoons,
walks in the park,
wanderings in the stark dark night.
i wonder how it is like
to wake up every single day of my life
with your arms wrapped tightly in my naked body
or, how magical it will be
to just lay on the earth’s barren patch with you beside me
and gaze at the infinite heavens
while I hold your trembling hands
and kiss your lips.
i wonder what kind of bliss it would bring me
if i get to spend my whole life with you
chasing rainbows,
weaving dreams,
making love.
i would’ve been the happiest person alive if these things had come true,
and if only i was that guy who just walked down the aisle with you.
